The Day She Threw the Banana — and I Didn’t Break
(Tantrums & Discipline – where love meets limits.)
She threw a banana at me.
Not just dropped it.
She launched it — full force, half-mashed,
straight into my shirt.
And then she screamed.
Not because she was hurt.
But because she didn’t want the blue spoon,
she wanted the green one.
Or maybe… she didn’t know what she wanted at all.
Honestly? Neither did I.
For a second, I froze.
Part of me wanted to laugh.
Part of me wanted to yell.
All of me just wanted the morning to reset.
But then I remembered something my own mom once said:
“They’re not giving you a hard time — they’re having a hard time.”
So I took a breath,
peeled off my banana shirt,
and knelt down,
eye to eye.
“You’re mad. That’s okay. I’m here.”
She cried harder.
Then softer.
Then curled into my chest,
sticky and loud and completely forgiven.
Discipline in this house doesn’t look like time-outs.
It looks like time-with.
A soft corner with her calm-down box —
a few board books, a squishy ball, a toy that clicks when she needs to release tension.
Sometimes I add lavender lotion and rub her back,
even if she’s still fuming.
We don’t have a perfect system.
Some days she still bites.
Some days I still snap.
But I’m learning to pause instead of punish.
To teach, not just react.
She doesn’t need to be “good.”
She needs to feel safe enough to be real.
Calm-Down Basket Set
Ours isn’t fancy. Just a few small sensory toys, a soft cloth book, and one quiet rattle she always goes to first. It’s not about “fixing” her mood — it’s about giving her space to feel.
Toddler-Safe Lavender Lotion
This became our post-meltdown ritual. I call it “peace lotion” and rub it on her arms while we breathe together. It helps both of us reset.
Toddler Cozy Corner Chair
She knows it’s hers. Not a punishment place, but a place to go when big feelings are too big. Sometimes I sit with her. Sometimes I just stay near.
Discipline, I’m realizing,
isn’t about controlling her.
It’s about helping her learn herself.
And sometimes… that starts with a banana on your shirt
and ends with a hug on the kitchen floor.